Over the past few weeks, I have truly been inspired to write more, share more, & encourage more. My heart is bursting with joy for life! The Lord has given me a new rejuvenation of life and it makes me happier and blessed to call Him my Savior. A very good friend of mine recently asked me to be a guest on her and her friend’s blog. I said yes, and was so excited for what the Lord would lay on my heart.
Here’s to bless, share, & encourage you to grow!
When I was first asked to write on the blog, I felt completely honored that I would have the opportunity to share my heart. What I was going to share was the thing that would take me a minute to develop. I knew deep down in my heart it needed to be exactly what the Lord would want so I waited until He gave me an answer. I knew in my heart that I could have shared about the struggles faced while going through nursing school, or the lack of trust I had for the people who were once called church leaders. I could have talked about the friends who turned against me in high school, or even the excitement of the leadership/mentoring training I got at the end of my senior year of high school. God had spoken through the ups and the downs in my life, yet the one area I did not really want to share about He has laid on my heart… the area of contentment in being single.
“Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches.” – 1 Corinthians 7:17
Wow. Continue to live? Just the way the Lord has called me to live? Without a partner?
“Yes, each of you should remain as you are when God called you.” – 1 Corinthians 7:20
I have heard this time and time again… the art of being single. Follow the great apostle Paul as he walked in a life of Singleness. How was I suppose to do this? From the time we are really young we are chasing the boys, trying not to get “cooties”, and attempting to be accepted and loved by the opposite sex. It’s human nature. We are built for relationship. Yet, the one thing I desired was the one thing I could not get a hold of… the desire to be in a relationship.
You see, I am that girl who has never been on a date, the girl who has never felt pursued, the girl who has all the friends whom are married, dating, and starting to have kids. The girl who has never had a boyfriend.
I was the girl with the selfish heart that was chasing her own desires, and not GOD’s desires.
I had recently read a book called “God Loves Ugly”, and it totally rocked my perspective and changed my heart for the better. At the beginning of the book, the author asks six questions…
What do you really believe about yourself
What words have been spoken to you or about you to help form your core list of beliefs
What feelings are produced that consume you
What are your go-to coping mechanisms
What are the wounded roots that you see deep down in your heart
What do you believe God is?
I reflected on these questions for quite awhile. I started to jot down in my journal my interpretation of these questions and how I myself would answer them. I took these questions and applied them to my single life. I knew God wanted my heart to change.
“God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world.” – 1 Corinthians 7:23
I knew that if I ever wanted God to have total control over this area of my life and I had to set my internal issues down before Him, and make changes in my own heart. I had always been taught how to be content in the Lord and how to be ok with my singleness, but I had never really applied it to my life.
Towards the end of the book, I read this quote and replaced the author’s name with my name to make it apply more to my situation…
“Maloree, I believe you are worthy of love. I believe your heart is worthy of holding. I believe you don’t have to be so independent anymore out of fear. You want someone to take care of you, and I believe you’re worth taking care of. I believe you can do most things on your own, but you don’t have to do them on your own anymore. I believe you’re an attractive woman. I believe you’re not just the best friend. I believe you will be married someday to someone you want to be married to. I believe someone will love you – because, Maloree, you love yourself.”
We. as christian women, have to realize something. We are worth loving. We are worth the best. We are worth more than we could ever imagine. Contentment in Singleness? Hard? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely.
We must let go of some of our independent spirit, and be willing to let someone in. I know many people have been HURT and maybe even a little DESTROYED. Do not let this STOP you from receiving the best. You deserve it. It is ok to give up some of our independence to allow God to control who HE wants to bring into our lives to change us for the good. We must believe we are beautiful. Even though this has become such a cliche term, we must truly believe it. Yeah, we have resolutions to lose that extra five pounds or to run our PR in the half-marathon. “When you act beautiful, people see you as someone beautiful.” You have to believe that when you are walking into a room you can exceed with beauty and grace. You can light a room up with God’s beauty! I was challenged by this quote:
“You will attract what you believe you desire.”
What do you desire?
Do you desire trash?
Do you desire a man after God’s own heart?
Do you desire someone who will love you for you?
“I desire the kind of relationship where he chases you as a treasure, fights for you as protector, and is the love of your heart.”
Contentment in singleness is NOT easy. I could go on writing how it has become the icing on the cake and I have not had one struggle since I changed my perspective. But it happens. We have to face this battle on a daily basis. The thing you have to ask yourself is how will face this battle? I have chosen to face this battle head on and believe that I AM WORTH IT. I choose to believe that God has a plan and the plan for now is to continue living the life HE has called me to which for now includes singleness.
“I want you to be free from the concerns of this life… a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.” – 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
It is YOUR choice to see who you will allow to control your life
Now, you married ladies out there. Do not discount yourself and this little note as not being applicable to you. Go back and re-read through those questions talked about earlier. How do they apply to your life right now and in what ways can you learn to respect your husbands. Because in all honesty, you are looking for the same thing us single ladies are looking for… you are looking to be loved just as the man you are with is looking to be respected.
I will challenge you with this… both the single, dating, & married ladies…
“If you believe in a God who controls the big things, you have to believe in a God who controls the little things. It is we, of course, to whom things look ‘little’ or ‘big.'” -Elisabeth Elliot